Ezra's surprise unassisted birth
by Mary
For more information on safely handling and preparing for an unexpected unassisted birth, or "birthing in place" during an emergency, please see Giving Birth "In Place": A Guide to Emergency Preparedness for Childbirth by the American College of Nurse-Midwives and Emergency Preparedness for Childbirth
I woke up at 7:30am on Friday morning because my older son had therapy that morning. As I came down the stairs, I had a hard, crampy contraction. I went to the bathroom and the mucus plug had started coming out! I was really happy and went out to tell my husband that something might be happening, yet I knew it could still be a long time until labor. I said I’d call him if anything felt imminent and he left for work.
During my son’s therapy session, I felt like I couldn’t sit down and I stood up and swayed or kneeled next to the table (the therapist was very understanding!). I didn’t count or time them but I had about 6-8 moderately painful contractions that hour from 8-9am.
I had promised my husband that at the slightest sign of labor I would call him and Tammi (our midwife), after how fast my previous birth was. Even if it was a false alarm, better safe than sorry, so I called Tammi and let her know, and she said she’d check back with me in an hour. Then I called my husband and told him not to hurry but to finish up and come home when he could. I called the babysitter and let her know I may need to bring Ethan over.
All of a sudden I felt very scatter-brained- I couldn’t focus on anything. I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink yet and Tammi reminded me to go have something. I made peanut butter toast and tea, but couldn’t even focus on eating, I’d take one bite then wander around doing this and that to get ready but not accomplishing anything. The babysitter called back and said she’d come pick my son up rather than wait for us to bring him over- I agreed and she came within minutes. It was so poignant saying goodbye- I knew that the next time I saw him there would be a baby and his life would be changed forever, and he had no real idea.
I had started looking at the clock every once in a while so I could tell Tammi more accurately what was going on when she called back. The contractions were like very strong menstrual cramps, and they were very frequent- anywhere from one to five minutes apart. I was surprised at how frequent and painful they were, since this was totally different from my previous labor. I kept busy cleaning, as had been my plan for labor- to keep myself upright and moving and keep my mind busy, and make the house relatively clean in preparation for the birth. Tammi called back at 10 and I filled her in. My husband called right after that and said he was on his way home- he had just had a long bike ride to work and had to turn around and do it again!
I somehow cleaned both bathrooms, but very half heartedly as I kept having to stop, pace, and hum through the contractions every other minute. I thought I should be listening to my Hypnobabies Birthing Day affirmations to keep my mind in a positive state- it was getting very difficult to relax and not tense up, and I knew I needed to stay mentally and physically relaxed.
Matt came home at 11am and I said “I can’t talk, just vacuum and take the dogs out. I am so glad we're home and don't have to go anywhere.” I didn’t want to have the baby with dog hair all around! Plus the dogs had been cooped up on the porch since morning and I wanted them taken care of in case this ended up being a long labor.
I went into the bedroom and leaned on the bureau and just tried to cope. It was extremely painful at this point and I was trying all the different breathing techniques to see what helped. None of the breathing really helped- this was like severe pain in my cervix, and no breathing could touch it. Very different from my first birth where the hypnobirthing breathing was very effective. I finally settled on a deep ‘Ahhh’ sound that we practiced in yoga- a sounds that resonates up through the pelvis and abdomen- while it didn’t make the pain go away, it did give me something to focus my mind on and it least it was aimed at the area that hurt the most.
My husband checked back in every once in a while to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. I didn’t, I was just trying to deal with the intensity. I had visualized an 8 hour labor, but at this point I fervently hoped that this would be over soon, because there was no way I could take several more hours of this! I knew the only way for it to be over was to get through it. All this time I kept listening to the affirmations on the ipod, but I was almost laughing at them when they said “every pressure wave makes more anesthesia flow through my body” and “I will experience the sensations only as pressure” Ha ha!!
Then I got down on my hands and knees on the floor just to see if it would help. Nothing was comfortable and no position helped it feel better but that was all I could do. The contractions never did get into a pattern or longer, it seemed like they were both irregular and constant the whole time. My vocalizations were getting louder. I told my husband to prepare the bed with the waterproof cloth and some old sheets. He was running around doing everything to get ready. All of a sudden I felt the slightest pushing sensation. I called for my husband and told him to call Tammi and tell her I couldn’t talk and I was starting to feel pressure. He came back and said she was already on her way.
For some reason I thought I should pee. And I wanted to see if anything was coming out like blood or more of the plug. Somehow I made it into the bathroom and was just gripping the sink and pressing my head into the faucet and blood was running down my legs. I was able to pee a little bit and thought maybe I should try the shower. I couldn’t stand up and just kneeled in there with the water on my back.
All of a sudden my body was pushing hard. The pressure was forcing me to yell loudly, but I knew I had to keep the sounds low in order for myself to open up, so I forced myself not to let it become a scream. I even knew from my own sounds that I was a woman about to push a baby out!
I had to see what was going on so I felt inside and just an inch or so inside I felt a smooth, squishy bump and knew the baby was coming out very soon. This is something I had planned on and wanted to do- feel the baby on it’s way out- so that was very satisfying. I said “It’s being born right now” so my husband would realize how imminent it was in case he couldn’t tell. All of a sudden my water broke with a pop. I asked if the midwife would be there soon and he said she would. Matt was trying to convince me to turn the shower off so he could see, but I didn’t want to be cold and said just put a towel on the floor of the tub.
Then I felt the head pushing out! What a feeling- incredibly painful and intense, and absolutely amazing that it was happening NOW! Fortunately the contractions slowed down a bit so I could think between them. I didn’t push at all but my body was pushing for me so hard. I was holding my hand on my perineum, to try and slow things down and because it hurt so much I didn’t want that head to come through! My husband was trying to get me to come to the bed and I couldn’t even imagine moving in that state, but finally, somehow, I made the few steps to the bed because I didn’t want the baby born in a hard, empty tub and have to move afterwards!
I knelt at the top of the bed and gripped the headboard and pressed my head into it and chanted to myself ‘please wait, please wait, please wait, slow down, slow down, slow down’. I knew the head was coming out, and then the body right away. I turned around and the first thing I saw was a little pinkish purple rag doll with black hair and I was holding it up in a sitting position and it cried right away. I instinctively knew it needed to be on my chest so right away I brought it to my chest and my husband threw a towel over us. He was asking for the suction bulb saying we needed to suction the baby and I was trying to think of where it was, wondering why he was saying that, because I knew the baby was all right- I kept saying “It’s ok, it’s crying”. Later I learned that he was nervous the baby wasn't breathing, because he could see the cord around the baby's neck, and his color looked purple.
After a few minutes of being incredulous, I looked under the towel and said “Um, I think it’s a boy!” He was born at 12 noon, 4 ½ hours after the first contraction. Then Tammi walked in and my husband said “Too late!” She assessed us and coached me in pushing out the placenta. I kept trying to have the baby nurse to help it come out. It finally did (whew) and we kept the cord attached for quite a long time, maybe an hour, with the placenta in a bowl beside us.
I kept the baby near my breast the whole time and soon he latched on- what an incredible feeling- I just cried with relief because this was a really stressful aspect of my first baby’s first few hours and I was so fearing this baby would not be interested, either.
The birth assistant made it at some point- She did all the cleanup and made us all lunch and helped me to the bathroom and shower. Nice!
We finally started guessing on the weight- he clearly had large hands, and was quite meaty in the arms! We couldn’t believe he was 7# 9 oz, 20.5”, 2 pounds and 2 inches bigger than his older brother was!
I am grateful most of all that our baby was born to right into his parents hands, and that he only knew gentleness and love coming into the world. No unfamiliar hands, bright lights, needle sticks, or being separated from us. This is what I hoped to achieve in having a homebirth, and I feel it was accomplished in every way.
by Mary
For more information on safely handling and preparing for an unexpected unassisted birth, or "birthing in place" during an emergency, please see Giving Birth "In Place": A Guide to Emergency Preparedness for Childbirth by the American College of Nurse-Midwives and Emergency Preparedness for Childbirth
I woke up at 7:30am on Friday morning because my older son had therapy that morning. As I came down the stairs, I had a hard, crampy contraction. I went to the bathroom and the mucus plug had started coming out! I was really happy and went out to tell my husband that something might be happening, yet I knew it could still be a long time until labor. I said I’d call him if anything felt imminent and he left for work.
During my son’s therapy session, I felt like I couldn’t sit down and I stood up and swayed or kneeled next to the table (the therapist was very understanding!). I didn’t count or time them but I had about 6-8 moderately painful contractions that hour from 8-9am.
I had promised my husband that at the slightest sign of labor I would call him and Tammi (our midwife), after how fast my previous birth was. Even if it was a false alarm, better safe than sorry, so I called Tammi and let her know, and she said she’d check back with me in an hour. Then I called my husband and told him not to hurry but to finish up and come home when he could. I called the babysitter and let her know I may need to bring Ethan over.
All of a sudden I felt very scatter-brained- I couldn’t focus on anything. I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink yet and Tammi reminded me to go have something. I made peanut butter toast and tea, but couldn’t even focus on eating, I’d take one bite then wander around doing this and that to get ready but not accomplishing anything. The babysitter called back and said she’d come pick my son up rather than wait for us to bring him over- I agreed and she came within minutes. It was so poignant saying goodbye- I knew that the next time I saw him there would be a baby and his life would be changed forever, and he had no real idea.
I had started looking at the clock every once in a while so I could tell Tammi more accurately what was going on when she called back. The contractions were like very strong menstrual cramps, and they were very frequent- anywhere from one to five minutes apart. I was surprised at how frequent and painful they were, since this was totally different from my previous labor. I kept busy cleaning, as had been my plan for labor- to keep myself upright and moving and keep my mind busy, and make the house relatively clean in preparation for the birth. Tammi called back at 10 and I filled her in. My husband called right after that and said he was on his way home- he had just had a long bike ride to work and had to turn around and do it again!
I somehow cleaned both bathrooms, but very half heartedly as I kept having to stop, pace, and hum through the contractions every other minute. I thought I should be listening to my Hypnobabies Birthing Day affirmations to keep my mind in a positive state- it was getting very difficult to relax and not tense up, and I knew I needed to stay mentally and physically relaxed.
Matt came home at 11am and I said “I can’t talk, just vacuum and take the dogs out. I am so glad we're home and don't have to go anywhere.” I didn’t want to have the baby with dog hair all around! Plus the dogs had been cooped up on the porch since morning and I wanted them taken care of in case this ended up being a long labor.
I went into the bedroom and leaned on the bureau and just tried to cope. It was extremely painful at this point and I was trying all the different breathing techniques to see what helped. None of the breathing really helped- this was like severe pain in my cervix, and no breathing could touch it. Very different from my first birth where the hypnobirthing breathing was very effective. I finally settled on a deep ‘Ahhh’ sound that we practiced in yoga- a sounds that resonates up through the pelvis and abdomen- while it didn’t make the pain go away, it did give me something to focus my mind on and it least it was aimed at the area that hurt the most.
My husband checked back in every once in a while to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. I didn’t, I was just trying to deal with the intensity. I had visualized an 8 hour labor, but at this point I fervently hoped that this would be over soon, because there was no way I could take several more hours of this! I knew the only way for it to be over was to get through it. All this time I kept listening to the affirmations on the ipod, but I was almost laughing at them when they said “every pressure wave makes more anesthesia flow through my body” and “I will experience the sensations only as pressure” Ha ha!!
Then I got down on my hands and knees on the floor just to see if it would help. Nothing was comfortable and no position helped it feel better but that was all I could do. The contractions never did get into a pattern or longer, it seemed like they were both irregular and constant the whole time. My vocalizations were getting louder. I told my husband to prepare the bed with the waterproof cloth and some old sheets. He was running around doing everything to get ready. All of a sudden I felt the slightest pushing sensation. I called for my husband and told him to call Tammi and tell her I couldn’t talk and I was starting to feel pressure. He came back and said she was already on her way.
For some reason I thought I should pee. And I wanted to see if anything was coming out like blood or more of the plug. Somehow I made it into the bathroom and was just gripping the sink and pressing my head into the faucet and blood was running down my legs. I was able to pee a little bit and thought maybe I should try the shower. I couldn’t stand up and just kneeled in there with the water on my back.
All of a sudden my body was pushing hard. The pressure was forcing me to yell loudly, but I knew I had to keep the sounds low in order for myself to open up, so I forced myself not to let it become a scream. I even knew from my own sounds that I was a woman about to push a baby out!
I had to see what was going on so I felt inside and just an inch or so inside I felt a smooth, squishy bump and knew the baby was coming out very soon. This is something I had planned on and wanted to do- feel the baby on it’s way out- so that was very satisfying. I said “It’s being born right now” so my husband would realize how imminent it was in case he couldn’t tell. All of a sudden my water broke with a pop. I asked if the midwife would be there soon and he said she would. Matt was trying to convince me to turn the shower off so he could see, but I didn’t want to be cold and said just put a towel on the floor of the tub.
Then I felt the head pushing out! What a feeling- incredibly painful and intense, and absolutely amazing that it was happening NOW! Fortunately the contractions slowed down a bit so I could think between them. I didn’t push at all but my body was pushing for me so hard. I was holding my hand on my perineum, to try and slow things down and because it hurt so much I didn’t want that head to come through! My husband was trying to get me to come to the bed and I couldn’t even imagine moving in that state, but finally, somehow, I made the few steps to the bed because I didn’t want the baby born in a hard, empty tub and have to move afterwards!
I knelt at the top of the bed and gripped the headboard and pressed my head into it and chanted to myself ‘please wait, please wait, please wait, slow down, slow down, slow down’. I knew the head was coming out, and then the body right away. I turned around and the first thing I saw was a little pinkish purple rag doll with black hair and I was holding it up in a sitting position and it cried right away. I instinctively knew it needed to be on my chest so right away I brought it to my chest and my husband threw a towel over us. He was asking for the suction bulb saying we needed to suction the baby and I was trying to think of where it was, wondering why he was saying that, because I knew the baby was all right- I kept saying “It’s ok, it’s crying”. Later I learned that he was nervous the baby wasn't breathing, because he could see the cord around the baby's neck, and his color looked purple.
After a few minutes of being incredulous, I looked under the towel and said “Um, I think it’s a boy!” He was born at 12 noon, 4 ½ hours after the first contraction. Then Tammi walked in and my husband said “Too late!” She assessed us and coached me in pushing out the placenta. I kept trying to have the baby nurse to help it come out. It finally did (whew) and we kept the cord attached for quite a long time, maybe an hour, with the placenta in a bowl beside us.
I kept the baby near my breast the whole time and soon he latched on- what an incredible feeling- I just cried with relief because this was a really stressful aspect of my first baby’s first few hours and I was so fearing this baby would not be interested, either.
The birth assistant made it at some point- She did all the cleanup and made us all lunch and helped me to the bathroom and shower. Nice!
We finally started guessing on the weight- he clearly had large hands, and was quite meaty in the arms! We couldn’t believe he was 7# 9 oz, 20.5”, 2 pounds and 2 inches bigger than his older brother was!
I am grateful most of all that our baby was born to right into his parents hands, and that he only knew gentleness and love coming into the world. No unfamiliar hands, bright lights, needle sticks, or being separated from us. This is what I hoped to achieve in having a homebirth, and I feel it was accomplished in every way.
